In January of this year (2013), I asked Universe to teach me lessons. Spirit agreed to give me these things, but in my mind I thought it would be, I don’t know,….comfortable, easy, evenly spaced. Maybe like once every four months I’d learn a lil’ somethin’ and then I’d be cool until the next four month exam.
NOT! Maybe it’s because I have been brainwashed by public education as a youth and half-assed college education as an adult that I thought Universe ran on 5 to 6 month semesters, and the topics would be so shallow I wouldn’t even have to read the textbook to pass mid-term exams with A’s.
The best way to describe how these Universal lessons are happening, not just to me but to everyone, is popping pills.
As I was laying in bed this morning, I finally understood what Morpheus was doing in the Matrix when he handed Neo the red and blue pills. I first saw the movie when I was a kid, but that movie has done nothing but haunt me all these years to the point where I get it. I GET IT! All this year I have been swallowing red pills that have the OPPOSITE effect of “feel good” pills, those recreational drugs people take to make a rainbow appear in their kitchen. No, these pills send you crashing down to Earth, to REALITY, so damn quick that you’re like, “where the F*CK have I been??”
Wanna know what’s dealing these metaphorical pills? GOD! God pushes big ass horse pills on the corner of “What do I do now?” street and “Whose fault is this?” avenue called TRUTH. They are free and endless when you ask for them, no cash or credit required. BUT the problem with these pills is, once you ask God to write you a prescription for them, GOD DOESN’T STOP SENDING THEM! Even after you’ve tried to cancel the prescription because you’ve started seeing things and convulsing with anxiety, yelling “Stop, Universe! I’d rather not know the TRUTH! Let me go back to watching Love&HipHop and thinking that’s how life is!” God continues to send the medication. Long after the high from being intelligent has fizzled off and you start to think maybe you are just a little too smart for your own good, God gives you more pills of Truth laced with Sight.
Some of us who are not so unfortunate to have ASKED for wisdom and enlightenment continue on their merry ways. When something undesirable happens and God hands out those two pills, 1 red let-me-analyze- the-role-I-played-in-this-mess pill and 1 blue I’m-not-going-to-take-any-personal-responsibility-for-what-just-happened pill, some of us are able to pop that blue pill, swish it down with some green Kool-Aid and move on to the next real-life episode of Love&HipHop they are about to be involved in.
BUT…those of us born with this nagging, unexplainable knowledge that there is something more, that this bullshit happening right in front of us can not be real, are plagued with the curiosity of what is BEHIND that curtain. What is the skeleton inside this monster? What is the machinery, the design, the schematics, the blueprint? The point?
Religion teaches us that God is mysterious, the inner-workings of Universe secret, so to even attempt to look at “the man behind the curtain” is not only futile but blasphemous, right?
*In my best old, Black southern voice*
“Don’t you QUESTION Gawd!”
“If Gawd wanted you to know, HE would tell you!”
“Somethangs you ain’t s’pose to know!”
“That gon’ send you straight ta HELL!”
But then why this intuition? Why send us down to Earth with this inner knowing and then the desire to understand? Why gift us with this desire to SEE IT! To see ourselves??
So, instead of taking the easy way out, us blockheads who know things say, “F*CK It!” and take the red pill with a shot of body-temperature whiskey. Or tequila, depending on what season it is.
That is what happened to me in January and I’ve been tripping, shaking, and foaming at the mouth ever since. The pills I’ve swallowed, the things I have learned, I can’t even speak on for fear of being outcast. Some of this new insight I have would cause me to be looked at with raised eyebrows. I’ll hear the whole you’re-only-twenty-two-years-old-what-do-you-know-about-life lecture. So, maybe I’ll wait until I’m fifty when I have enough gray hair to be considered wise enough to speak on anything of depth (if I don’t color it cayenne pepper red, that is).
As big as the red pill is, as varied and… uncomfortable as the side effects are (disillusionment, anxiety, fear, depression, resentment, anger, aggression) it is necessary that the red pill be taken over the blue pill every time. After all the blue pill is only a sugar pill, a placebo, that makes you THINK you are curing something but are in fact only wasting time, energy, and money because you are not actually FIXING anything. You are just tricking yourself and your body into thinking you are being productive.
Just because you don’t take the red pill, meaning the TRUTH, does not make it go away. It does not cease to exist simply because you choose not to look at it. THE TRUTH OF YOUR F*CKED UP ACTIONS AND THE CHAOS YOU REFUSE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR DOES NOT GO AWAY BECAUSE YOU AVOID IT! That is why God offers two pills every time. You always have to make the conscious choice to choose one over the other. The responsibility is yours for whatever decision you make. God, Universe, can not be blamed.
- Choosing the Red Pill (Why Authenticity Matters) (diaryofbeingfrank.wordpress.com)
- The matrix (sparry09.wordpress.com)
- Choices (villar39.wordpress.com)
- The Blue Pill And The Red Pill Aren’t So Different (omegavirginrevolt.wordpress.com)
- Choosing the Red Pill (diariesofadivorcee.com)